


Night Swimming

by yohaririko (PorcelainCas)



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, Coda, Episode: s01e09 Mijuku Dreamer, F/F, First Kiss, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 22:24:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11068332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorcelainCas/pseuds/yohaririko
Summary: Mari takes a step after another step, her expression carefully schooled into neutrality.It’s not going to happen. They’ve abandoned her. They don’t want her anymore. That’s why I’m leaving, she tells herself resolutely. “No matter what they say,” she whispers the lie to herself.She reaches up to grab the hand of the worker in the helicopter, pulling herself up. When she’s led to her seat, she can hear the slam of the helicopter door closing, shutting her away from the world.They’re not coming for her.





	Night Swimming

**Author's Note:**

> I never realized how much I wanted to write some form of this scene after I wrote [this meta](https://guiltytuning.tumblr.com/post/161222245165/guiltytuning-romantic-tropes-studying) comparing the parallels in Honokoto 1x13 and Kanamari 1x09

Mari doesn’t know why she’s still hoping.

Standing at the helicopter pad on top of the Awashima hotel, she watches the magenta helicopter descend from the sky to land slowly, blades whirring in the air, and tossing Mari’s hair in front of her face. She reaches a hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear, staring at the helicopter and wishing that it could just disappear.

She turns to look behind her at the doorway where the stairs lead downstairs, hoping to hear some footsteps banging up the stairs – loud voices swearing as her two best friends make their way up in a desperate act to stop her from leaving.

It doesn’t happen.

Instead, someone opens up the helicopter for Mari, and her father’s workers standing beside her nod at her to proceed, one of them carrying her luggage to put in the helicopter. Taking one last look behind her, and hoping _just hoping_ that at any moment now, Dia or Kanan will fling open the doors and shout her name, desperation and apology in their eyes. She wants to be swept up in Kanan’s embrace once again – she wants to feel the strong arms of the other girl wrapping around her and telling her that everything is okay, and that she doesn’t need to leave.

Mari takes a step after another step, her expression carefully schooled into neutrality.

It’s not going to happen. They’ve abandoned her. They don’t want her anymore. That’s why I’m leaving, she tells herself resolutely. “No matter what they say,” she whispers the lie to herself.

She reaches up to grab the hand of the worker in the helicopter, pulling herself up. When she’s led to her seat, she can hear the slam of the helicopter door closing, shutting her away from the world.

They’re not coming for her.

                                                                                       

_The flashlight was shining up through her bedroom window, a glow against the darkness of the night. Mari frowned, closing the Japanese textbook she had been studying from. She walked out into the balcony, the warm summer air wrapping around her and a light breeze picking up the hem of her white dress. She could see Kanan – alone, it seemed – below, dressed in her wetsuit._

_It took Mari barely five minutes to get down from her house, choosing to go barefooted rather than put on shoes. “Kanan!” she called to the other girl, barely stopping herself from jumping to hug her friend. Kanan smiled gently at her, eyes softening._

_“Where’s Dia?” Mari asked, peeking around as if the other girl might be hiding somewhere._

_“She’s busy tonight, but I thought I’d come down anyway.”_

_Mari smiled shyly. “Well, I’m glad you decided to come. I was dying of boredom already.”_

_“What, straight-A student not prepared for the test tomorrow?” Kanan teased. “I thought little miss studious had already read ahead a chapter.”_

_Mari huffed, playing along and placing her hands on her hips. “As a matter of fact, I did.” She dropped her hands, and looked down, speaking quietly and a little more honestly this time. “I missed you guys. We haven’t done any idol things since the Tokyo thing… Kanan… it’s been a week.”_

_When Mari looked up, she noticed that Kanan wasn’t looking at her and had turned away, gazing into the dark ocean waters._

_“Kanan…,” Mari started, a hand clenched and held to her heart, wanting to reach out to touch Kanan. “You know it’s not going to affect us, right? We can still keep doing idol activities. It’s okay.”_

_There was a deep silence, punctuated by the sound of tranquil waves washing up against the shore._

_Instead of answering Mari’s question, Kanan turned to look at Mari with a smile that made Mari ache. There was something that struck deep down in Mari’s chest about the way Kanan’s eyes were staring sadly at her like she was the only thing that mattered. Kanan opened her mouth to speak:_

_“Want to go for a swim?”_

 

Mari doesn’t know why she looks out the window one last time.

It certainly isn’t to take in one last view of the place she’s called home for the last eight years. She can see the waves of the ocean in the horizon of the window, and she doesn’t intend to look, not wanting to see Uchiura disappear. Not like this.

But something is flashing against her window.

Unable to help the surging feeling of curiosity, Mari presses her face to the window, trying to seek the source of the light.

Her eyes befall two figures down below – not too far away to distinguish them but far enough that she can’t see their facial expressions. But she knows without doubt that Kanan Matsuura is holding onto the flashlight, shining it at Mari's window like those times Kanan and often Dia would wait for her to come down from her house at night to the beach. _Come down_ , the light beckons. _Come down here, Mari_. But Kanan and Dia stand motionless at the base of the Awashima hotel, shining the flashlight up at her. They’re not calling her down; they’re saying goodbye.

 _No_ , Mari thinks, her mouth opening in a silent cry. She wants to break through the windows and float down to meet them and pretend that the last week – Tokyo, her injury, Kanan and Dia quitting and ignoring her – never happened. _No. No! Stop the helicopter, please!_

She presses her forehead against the window – they can’t see her. _Stop the helicopter, please. This is wrong – this is wrong!_

There’s pressure on her eyes, a surge of wetness that is begging to be released as she clenches her hands into fists against the window, eyes closing tightly and a choked sob forming in her throat.

The helicopter lifts her up higher and higher, so that when Mari opens her eyes and glances outside again, she can see nothing but of the glittering blue ocean and the rolling green landscape below her.

 

_Mari had donned her pink wetsuit – they weren’t diving but she had a silly urge to match Kanan’s blue one._

_She jumped into the cold water with Kanan, letting the water splash her friend. The diver spluttered, eyes narrowing while Mari laughed._

_Kanan acted quickly, swimming over to grab Mari by the hips and flipped her over headfirst into the water. Mari emerged with a gasp, wiping the water from her face while she stared at Kanan with a large smile, her blonde hair wet and matted to her forehead._

_“You ruined my hair,” Mari pretended to complain, swimming over to the shore until the water was knee-deep and untying the mess that was her hair-loop and her braid so that her blonde hair was free._

_“Uh huh, don’t pretend that you don’t wake up before the sun rises to do your hair everyday. You'll be just fine in the morning,” Kanan said, heading over to the other girl, an easy grin on her lips that seemed to erase all her troubled brooding that Mari had seen over the past month – even before their failure to perform in Tokyo._

_Taking advantage of Kanan’s closeness, Mari launched herself forward at the diver, grabbing the other girl around the waist with a loud “HAI!” Mari then pushed the startled girl down into the water before hurried running into the deeper end, body wracked with laughs and giggles._

_Kanan caught up to her within seconds, grabbing her from the side around the waist and stopping Mari from running away. The water was waist deep, and Kanan’s closeness was making Mari’s heart beat faster by the second. Both girls seemed to realize this, and the giggles died away as they stood in an embrace._

_“Kanan,” Mari started, turning her head slightly to look down at her friend. Kanan’s eyes were unguarded and open – staring at Mari with wonder and desire._

_“Mari,” Kanan breathed out, and Mari closed the distance between their lips._

Hours later, Mari is off the helicopter and now placed in her first-class plane seat beside the oval window. There’s an American business woman sitting beside her sipping her red wine, probably on a flight back to California – where they’re headed - after doing business in Japan.

The woman decides to strike up a conversation: “Heading back to America after vacation?” she asks in English.

Mari almost responds in Japanese, having been so used to the language. She pauses for a bit, trying to find the English words, reversing the structure of the sentence she was about to form in Japanese.

“I’m going to study abroad,” Mari says, surprised when the words come out clunky and accented.

The other woman looks surprised too as she takes in Mari’s blonde hair and her non-Japanese origin. “Interesting,” she says. “You’re born in Japan?”

“No, New York,” Mari says, once again finding her English accented with Japanese pronunciation. “I’ve lived in Japan for a long time.” She pauses. The ‘l’ sound – she can barely even pronounce it without slipping into ‘r’ – just like people who have Japanese accents when speaking English.

The woman nods, clearly losing interest and the conversation ends there. Mari turns away and stares out the window, greeted with the sight of the endless blue ocean.

 

_“I love you,” Mari whispered when she pulled away from Kanan’s lips. She felt lightheaded, like she had been suddenly falling in a dream and then was caught by the arms of the girl standing in front her now. They were face to face, Kanan’s arms around Mari’s hips while Mari had her arms around her torso._

_By the way Kanan instantly stiffened and dropped her arms, Mari knew she made a mistake. She wanted to take it back now, but the words had already been said and were hanging heavily between them._

_“Yeah,” Kanan replied, breaking out of Mari’s embrace and walking back to the shore, darkened water sloshing around her legs. “By the way, we need to meet tomorrow afternoon in the clubroom.” S_ _he made no mention of a reaction to Mari’s confession, not even turning back to look at her._

_Mari didn’t chase after her. She only stared at the retreating back of the other girl, wondering what she did wrong to be left holding the pieces of her heart in the ocean waters at night._

 

In the clubroom, Kanan tells Mari that she’s quitting.

The dream from last night’s swim is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> do you ever wonder just how much Mari suffered/felt lonely overseas? I know everybody said she had fun and became a meme, but I feel like that was a lot of her taking on a 'fake personality' to adapt and make friends (who didn't even remain friends because we don't even see her talking about them in LLSS). I don't even think she contacted Kanan (or Dia) over those two years. ;-;


End file.
